One day in the middle of yet another company restructure, I vividly remember standing up in the open-plan office and looking at what people around me were doing: Doodling while on never-ending back-to-back Teams calls (cameras off), rebuilding PowerPoint presentations to provide “better” numbers for management.
I had seen this all before. The defeated looks on peoples’ faces when they thought nobody was watching them. The jostling and backstabbing and grandstanding to get on the decision makers’ good sides. Desperate whispering about who was safe and who was not.
I had had enough! I just didn’t want to play this game anymore.
I had spent 880 weeks of my 4000 weeks with this company. I wanted to be in the world in a different way, a gentler way more aligned with my peaceful and adventurous spirit.
Watch Oliver Burkeman’s Ted Talk on How to stop fighting against time here:
Deep inside of me I had known for a while that the corporate life was not for me, that it was a means to an end to gain financial stability. The restructure I describe above happened in 2023, but it was the one before that, in 2014, where I had made my mind up that I needed to get out.
At the time I had debt, I was freshly divorced (my severe travel schedule contributing to this) and my parents needed my help, so I couldn’t leave then. I just knew that I wanted a freer lifestyle and not to be at the mercy of company whims and commodity cycles. I wanted to be in control of my own fate at the next round of retrenchments. I wanted to be the one who chose whether I stayed or left. In the 2014 restructure I saw one of my colleagues, who at 57, could opt for (or really was pushed into) early retirement act from a position of power. Steve crunched his numbers, weighed his options, and exited the company with dignity… and I thought I want to be like Steve.
I had no idea what sums Steve had done or how he could be so confident about walking away, but I knew I could learn.
With that intent out there in the universe, my life continued in rat-race for the next nine years. But as Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
When the next round of retrenchments inevitably arrived (in 2023), I was in a much better position to act from my own position of power. I had done the work, done the planning and built some solid back-up systems. I put my hand up for a voluntary severance package. My plan was to take a year off to rest, rejuvenate and re-invent myself… to re-design a life that was closer to my values, personality and soul…a life without politics and stress, where I was healthy and doing things every day that would make my heart sing.
People at my company thought I was crazy…I had done so much work at becoming a true company ambassador, re-shaping myself to become exactly what the company expected from me. At the time of the restructure, I was enrolled in an in-house executive development programme (a sign that I was being pushed upwards) and I had recently completed an executive MBA and now all those learnings (and money) were wasted, lamented one of my friends.
I got comments in the first couple of weeks after leaving about how lucky I was or how nice it must be to be doing nothing. Luck had nothing to do with it! And no, I was not doing nothing, or on holiday – I was actively reflecting and investing time in myself so that the best version of myself could think clearly about the rest of the precious time I have left. I learnt new skills and took on projects that made my heart happy. One of those projects was doing a series of podcasts with people who had done what I was doing – people who had taken breaks from work to deliberately and consciously re-design their lives.
I put a call to action out on LinkedIn asking for people to take part in my project and they responded! The next couple of articles will be about these interviews and what I learnt form people who actively pursued a different way of being.
If you are thinking of taking a break, a deliberate time-out from a world where busy-ness is worn like a badge of honour, these stories might inspire you to pause purposefully. To re-design your life so that at the end of your 4000 weeks you will feel like you have lived and examined life (as James Hollis puts it).
Listen to the podcast series here:
If you need help planning and executing your conscious break, book a free intro coaching session here - just so we can see if we have coaching chemistry.
I know exactly what you’re talking about—I was there with you and can relate completely. The tension, the uncertainty, the quiet resignation on people's faces—it’s all so familiar. What stood out for me then, and even more so now, is how much our mindset shapes our experience, both in the moment and when we decide to step away. Change is inevitable, but how we navigate it makes all the difference. Like you, I reached a point where I wanted to take control rather than be at the mercy of circumstances. I admire how you intentionally designed your next chapter—it’s a powerful reminder that we always have choices, even in the middle of upheaval.
Looking forward to reading more about your journey and the stories you’ve uncovered!